Both Exist at the Same Time.

I absolutely love the synchronicity of today being the last day of Passover and Easter Sunday.

The story of Easter really got me thinking. It is not part of my religious upbringing because I am Jewish, and we can all learn from other people’s points of view. Rather than massacring the story or offending anyone, I am going to tell my message from my own personal experience.

From what I can remember about my sister Lauren’s funeral, it was a very somber, sad service. My lack of memory from the details of Lauren’s funeral did not come from it being 26 years ago. It came from the lack of a timeline that entire first year or two has from my grief. Whenever I look back on that time, the memories are unconnected individual events rather than having a continuity of time.

I can still remember the long line of people waiting to see my family, the temple was packed with people sad and crying, even back at my parents' house it was painful and overwhelming to have our friends and family there.

Fast-forward 10 months when my second cousin, Shayna Lawler, 17 years old at the time, also died in a car accident. Her family was Evangelical Christians. Her funeral was in a big church. The first thing that brought my attention was that there seemed to be a stage instead of a pulpit. I think Shayna’s father must have seen the confusion in my face because he immediately came over to my family and explained that the service is going to be very different than anything you may have seen before. And he was right.

Rather than sounds of sadness and pain, there was music and frivolity. A band came out on the stage and played music where the congregation followed the words from a screen with a bouncing ball to accentuate the words. Rather than a painful good-bye, it was a joyful welcoming home.

At the time I was very confused, and a little judgmental if I am being honest. Looking back at it now, I can understand that the way in which we look at death and dying is everything. Looking at it as a good-bye is very different than looking at it as a welcome home. That being said, we have to align our personal/human beliefs with that of our spiritual beliefs. I talked to Shayna’s sister, Erin, years later and it turns out that even though we had different spiritual beliefs, many of our challenges from grief were the same.

As both Passover and Easter celebrate the freedom in rebirth, let’s offer that same blessing to ourselves in our grief. May today be a new day for you. May you both be able to say good-bye and welcome home. May you see your loved one reborn as pure positive energy always surrounding you. And may you see yourself as whole. Nothing needs to be fixed. You are perfect exactly as you are.

Blessings,
Jason