Raise Your Standards

I have heard it said that we do not raise ourselves to our fullest potential, we sink down to what we will tolerate. Initially, I thought that comment is harsh. The more I started to think about it, the truer I believe the comment to be. It is exactly the way I got a handle on my physical health. I was always capable of becoming thin and fit. The problem was that I was not doing anything about it. I tolerated being heavy and not motivated to anything about it. I remember the day that I was not going to tolerate my own behavior any more. That was the day I got off my behind and did something about it.

It was the same with my grief. In the beginning, I felt that I was a victim to my grief. That all the pain, sadness and anger was going to consume me for the rest of my life. While sitting in my room crying, I realized that I needed to make a decision. Was I going to let Lauren’s car accident kill me too? It was in that moment of decision that the answer to that question was a resounding NO, did I stop tolerating a victim mindset. I still have moments where the emotions wash over me, I now realize that it is the natural ebbs and flow of grief. I ride the waves as they come and watch them roll back out to sea. However, I do not let the emotions dictate the actions that I take. I can still continue to navigate the complexities of life, even while I am sad. I can do things that bring me happiness and joy while feeling a little guilt in the background (which, for me, went away over time).

How did I make the decision to stop being a victim? First of all, I am looking back over my grief with 20/20 hindsight. I was not able to identify these decisions as they were happening. The key to changing my victim mindset was to raise my standards of living (what I was willing and not willing to tolerate). I started to raise my standards with changing 1 small action and making it non-negotiable. With a health example, I raised the standards of my food intake. I started by making the move to eating more organic foods. Once that was established, I cut out red meat, then poultry, then fish (a primarily vegetarian diet works great for my body, it does not work for everybody). I stopped eating fast food and cut out many processed foods from my diet. These standards became non-negotiable. Even to this day, I am still looking at the standard of my life and how to raise those standards. In fact, due to new research, I have included fish back into my diet because lean protein leads to longevity.

What standard can you raise?

Blessings,

Jason